Authenticity is a strong word. It can elicit conflicting emotions. Should I do it? Should I not do it? Why is it so difficult for us as human beings to be true to ourselves? The answer may be in thinking that perfection is something tangible and that in sharing our true selves with the world, everyone will stop liking us, or we will be ostracized. Rest assured, none of those scenarios will come to fruition.
Yes, some people will stop paying attention to you – and that is a great thing! Once you let go of pretending, your essence will begin to shine bright and that may scare some people off. See, the thing is, some of us are so afraid of our own inner gleam that we buy into the idea that we are not worthy – of being brilliant, beautiful, happy. To individuals with a strong personality and the leaders of the world, you will be a beacon of inspiration; to those unwilling to get out of the shadow or step out of their comfort zones, you will no longer serve a purpose. Be proud! In order to let new people, situations and positive energy to flow into your life, you will need to let go of bringing your past into your present – and that may include some people that were once part of your life.
The reality is that we are alone in our journey. No one else can take the steps for us. In our personal relationships, we choose to be beggars or emperors. Those who are afraid of facing the momentary discomfort of being alone can only beg for attention, or care, demanding another’s presence. Revolving around someone else. The only time one is supposed to be dependent on someone more apt than us in order to survive is during our childhood.
Transformation comes from the inside. I say that for whatever the question, love is the answer. What about that thing that is not happening for you (or that continues to happen over and over again)? Ask yourself: Where am I not loving myself? Where am I not being my number one fan?
It is not on the outside. It is not in another person. Focus inward and the answers will start to come – one by one.
We can be extremely critical of ourselves, our own worst enemies. So how do we get to a place of appreciation, understanding and acceptance of our duality – our light and our shadow? It begins with self-knowledge. Keep it simple. Fifteen minutes of meditation once a day would begin to quiet the mind and get you in touch with your core – with the real you. If you cannot sit still for fifteen minutes at time, try ten or five or even two. As long as it brings you closer to the intention of quieting the mind and becoming present, it is worth it. In the busy and noisy world we live in, I venture to say it is necessary to be in the now.
There is nothing wrong with you. You already have the answers. As Friedrich Nietzsche once said: “Become who you are.”
Eric Faria is an Emotional Intelligence Coach. He has participated in self-development trainings since 2005, using these tools in his professional coaching. He graduated from an International Coach Federation program in January 2014. Eric lives in Connecticut, and in addition to working with private clients, he gives motivational talks. For more information, or to contact him, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.